Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Jen's LiveJournal:

Friday, March 27th, 2009
11:42 am	.today today i put on one of ur hoodies and a long perfect strand of ur hair was tucked in the sleeve and tickling my arm. havent been this crushed in about two weeks and i just crashed....theres remains of u everywhere, it doesnt fade and im glad it doesnt just i need a fucking break from being so hrut, it never stops. so i drink every night until i black out and i dont feel a thing and i wake up each stupid morning and go. idk whats keeping me here but im here i hope ur watching over me. miss u. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 12th, 2009
4:29 am	sdgfdhdhs i just stood out in the snow. it felt like a snow glabe just the way i love. but i felt alone. i tasted ur tears on every snow flake that touched my tongue as my own streamed my face..... fuck u for all of this. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 7th, 2009
9:55 pm	fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk days arent getting easier and nights are getting shorter. every hour that passes is slower than the last. ive been drowning myself in bottles and bottomless glasses of alcohol just to feel a smile on my face. these ciggarettes are numbing out my veins. i just dont fucking understand why u didnt tell me u were upset. weve helped eachother through so much and as much as i need u you just decide to leave. nothing is ever that bad. i would of done anything for u. i did everything for u. we were happy. that fucking morning u were happy. and bc of some fucking email from ur fucking shithead father thats it..... i just wish u thought for one fucking second before u did what u did. im sorry but im still mad at u. idk if i will ever forgive u for this bc its killing me. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 5th, 2009
1:54 pm	. i dreamt of a fever, one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart. with heat to melt these frozen tears burned with reasons as to carry on. into these twisted months i plunge without a light to follow but i swear that i would follow anything just get me out of here. and you get six months to adapt then you get two more to leave town. and in the event that you do adapt we still might not want you around. but i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose but i know that that's impossible now. and so i drink to stay warm and to kill selected memories 'cause i just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight but i give myself three days to feel better or else i swear i'll drive right off a fucking cliff 'cause if i can't learn to make myself feel better how can i expect anyone else to give a shit? and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere just get me past this dead and eternal snow 'cause i swear that i'm dying, slowly but it's happening and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere just take me there, just take me there, just take me there and say, and lie to me, and say, and lie to me, and say it's going to be alright (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 2nd, 2009
7:27 pm	thanks cooper. Lauren...u are now branded on me forever.  i miss u every second. ,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,more to come soon. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 1st, 2009
10:25 pm	.... i have been watching these videos of lauren on my phone for like the past 5 hours non stop since i found them.... unreal. i just dont fucking understand, and idk how im supposed to get through this. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2009
3:28 pm	life doesnt stand still, doesnt pause or give u a moment to breathe. every breath i take is followed by being swept away into the next task at hand, into the next event to come. im not sure how i wake up each morning, mostly im not even aware im really here until i feel the painful tears streaming down my face. not a day has passed without them. not a second goes by where ur not the thought in my mind. every word or sentence said from someones mouth i can somehow easily relate back to a memory with you. every sight i see even when my eyes are closed are consumed by some thought of u. i called u beautiful almost everyday because that is what u were. that is what u are. u had this speacial way with every person u ever came in contact with. u left a mark on everyone even it was just a spoken hello.... yeah...cant do this yet...           (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 29th, 2008
11:12 am	..... thanku all for the concern and etc...i know everyone is just curious but honestly im not....so heres what happened at least bits and pieces of it....i dont wanna really ans anymore questions...sorry..i would just like to be left be.   11/26/08 06:40 AM Four men attack, rob woman, ransack house.. A Riverside woman was tied up, attacked and robbed in her Norris Street home Monday night. The woman told Northwest District police she was grabbed from behind before 11 p. m. as she entered her home on Norris, off Hertel Avenue just west of Elmwood Avenue. Four males dragged the woman to her bedroom at gunpoint demanding money, she told police. The robbers stuffed a sock in the woman's mouth and put a pillow over her face during the attack, according to a police report. They then ransacked the home, pulling down ceiling tiles and damaging walls. Later in the attack, the robbers put a gun in the woman's mouth, continuing to demand money. After the attackers left, the woman freed herself, climbed out a window and fled to a friend's house. She was treated for unknown injuries in Erie County Medical Center. The gun used in the attack was described as a small-caliber silver revolver. The victim's cell phone, keys, debit and credit cards, as well as her driver's license were taken. An unknown amount of cash was also taken, according to a police report (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
7:11 pm	true by nature im again giving myself away. my heart may not be bleeding or cut completely from end to end, but whats healed is tattered and frayed and worn away. But here....its for you. for as long as ud like it u can have what little is left of it. im not sure of the length of this, but its fine. this one last time. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
5:25 am	quote. "You know what I think? I think there's a reason for everything. And I think that there's a plan for everyone. And I think that God has a big plan for me. Just not in this life." (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
7:07 pm	(2 Comments |Comment on this)